LOVING GOOF AND SOUL MASSAGER

Hekyll has Jekyll. Bullwinkle has Rocky and I have Karina (not like that...dirty mind!). She is my Dean Moriarty-fueled with life and adventure; rambling about, daring, half crazed with laughter in her eyes except unlike Moriarty, she has a softness, a caring that when you push through her wicked humor, there appears warm sensation. Her loving, caring nature as beautiful as a Rain Forest waterfall where one wants to stay forever.

It's pure uncomplicated love. No romance. A kindred spirit, and the one who lit the flame in my soul which jump started me with a POW and life began. I was a nice little horse, warm under my saddle until she opened the stable door and encouraged me to run unbridled. 

We rode on a magic carpet into madness, and just when we thought we couldn't return, we did, dings and scraped making both of us all the more charming for the next fellow traveler who crosses our paths.

Karina-goofy bastard-the cosmic sister of Jim Carrey and where my laughter comes from-that sacred place, that once it's awakened, rolls out the kind of delirium and good spirit that can make you forget any dreadful moment that has ever occurred.

There were many times when I was close to taking life too seriously, and there she was, right in front of me, looking at me and prodding me with absurdity until I'd forgotten my existential crisis and remembered that life is love and laughter. It's silliness and finding the sacred goof in everything. It's remembering the flowers in their full bloom, not their later wilted state because these flowers never wilt.

My seriousness and intensity could go deep and far, once launching into anger that compelled me to throw a marble ash tray into a swimming pool and continue to wreck the apartment's swimming pool area until she came, unafraid and hugged me. That's all I needed-soft, mustard yellow sweater soothing my face and comforting my eyes as the wearer filled my every pore with the sustenance that my soul needed. 

My soul thrives. I am happy. I am approachable. I am loved. I am creative and I carry my secret weapon to give all of this color-Karina-my constant muse. Arizona, churchy mom (possibly through cloning)and wife, do-gooder, repented, mischief-hearted, musical, sincere, humble, humorous elemental who could never be summed up by anything that I have to say-ever.

Partner in crime, mirroring adolescent siren, not accepting no, pissing over cliff sides while holding hands, dancing around a tree in the Bay Area summertime and making it rain outrageously-we kept dancing, soaked from beer, rain, youth, life in full throttle...Water pistol suicide pact, standing in the street, back to back until we figured out the perfect way to take ourselves out at the same time-one blast of water from the gun, and the activity was forgotten. Away we rode in cars that blasted radio heaven which included our own rendition of a song that cured hang overs and sailed us into smooth waters with a gentle sun and lapping waves that splashed droplets on the raft that we painted with child fingers splashed into paints that held dreams of today.

I do not see Karina in my current days, More days than not in our 30 years of knowing each other, I haven't seen her, but she is here.  I know her. I've known her. I will always know her. Eventually, one of us will hold the gate open for the other and lead into the next journey, but not now. 

I see her in every blade of grass, "orange butter cat", child swimming, cartoon glasses, Fall California street, certain songs, dinner surprise, smiling friends, half eaten Kool-Aid bag with lemon dipped inside...I see Karina in everything good as she saw in me her own spirit-the ultimate gift my bio-dad-her bio-mom could give to soothe the absence that led us onto the road where we met in the first place. 

Life un-serious, smile in place and laughter waiting under the tree that looms over our lives. I fancy a swing, a climb and crunched, colorful leaves and savor the moment that I learned to witness through the muti-colored perspectives that I discovered and nurtured while spending that chunk of time with my friend, Karina. "Friend" "Love" seems so light in description...

I write. I write. I write and that perfect phrase isn't coming out. It's not enough or said in the way that sums up what's inside...the only thing that comes to mind is ,"If I go first, will you get rid of any shred of evidence that..the notebook, the purple notebook-burn it!"

Until we meet again, keep inspiring them, and keep making them laugh. Laugh until the tears come to your eyes and the silliness is sprung free to dance and twirl....